Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
