Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
