Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
