she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
