The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
