Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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