Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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