dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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