she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
