I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
