Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize