failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
