I CAN MOONWALK!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
