I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
