Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize