First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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