I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
