I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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