the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
