now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I supernannyed him into submission
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
