After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
