Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
