Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
