this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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