I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
