Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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