So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
