Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Barsexuality is the new black.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
