Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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