your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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