Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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