butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
