Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
