the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
