So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize