Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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