dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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