R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
