Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize