I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
