And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
