vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
