There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
