dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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