I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
