And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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