her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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