Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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