it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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