Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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