oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
