I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
