nut hugger
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
