I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
we made out on top of his cat.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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