Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
