what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
