I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
