Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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