I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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