His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
