Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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