I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
