Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
