Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
