id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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