Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
