he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
