wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
